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Emilie Kneifel is a second year UBC COGS student who lives in an apartment with her best friend named Kate, eats lots of fruits, makes lots of lists, and gets much too excited about new connections on LinkedIn.

Alexandra Cole is a third year Arts student studying creative writing and film production. She loves eggs benedict, conspiracy theories, and really good head. Alex identifies as pansexual, but why does that matter anyway?

Aiken Lao is a third-year commerce student and the Design Editor of The Ubyssey. She is powered by dad jokes, donuts and Red Bull and will take bribes. Fun fact: this issue is printed with the blood and tears of Aiken and several other editors.

Sienna Cohen is a fourth-year psychology student. "My two real boyfriends are alike in that they were kind-hearted, funny people, and also in that neither of them knew about my longest relationship with my most consistent lover: depression."

Olamide Olaniyan is a fourth-year economics and politics major and The Ubyssey's sports editor. He once got his head stuck in a stairwell banister, and once wrote a love poem about cheeseburgers. If you've fallen in love, his number is 7789275073.

The same advice applies when talking about anything to do with sex: communication and consent are key. What works for one person might be completely wrong for others. Different strokes for different folks — pun absolutely intended.

Hailey Rollheiser is a fifth-year English literature major who hopes that none of her immediate family (sorry Dad), her employer, or her previous sexual partners read what she’s written in this issue.

Kate Colenbrander is the current video editor at The Ubyssey and the woman of your dreams. If you believe you are her fiance please e-mail videos@ubyssey.ca. If you have concerns about your vagina please call a doctor.

Camelia Alikashani is a second-year GRSJ major who wants to pursue a career in law. She probably spends way too much of her spare time online-shopping and tagging people in memes, and occasionally enjoys trying her hand at a sudoku puzzle.

Hailey Rollheiser is a fifth-year English literature major who hopes that none of her immediate family (sorry Dad), her employer, or her previous sexual partners read what she’s written in this issue.

Veronica Ciastko is a second year arts student at the University of British Columbia, hoping to major in creative writing. She's an avid reader and lover of words, which would explain her love for sexting.

The absurdity of the 2017 AMS Elections is not lost on the first-ever joke candidate to win the presidency. “‘Kind of weird’ is probably an understatement. It was very weird,” said Alan Ehrenholz, whose name on the ballot was “The Engineer's Cairn.”

Every AMS election candidate running for exec positions is entitled to be reimbursed for a certain amount of money. It’s more complicated than just getting free money, though. Regulating campus spending is hard and cash can't buy you an election.

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