103 things to do at UBC

No matter how much fun you're having, watch where you're going on campus or you won't make it through any of these. Isabella Falsetti

Each of us only has so much time at the University of British Columbia, so we’ve compiled a list of important (and not-so-important) UBC bucket list items that you might try to accomplish before you leave this hallowed institution.

1. Find The Ubyssey’s Office

2. Write for The Ubyssey

3. Do what you love

4. Join the club with the least (or most) discernibly culty vibes

5. Vandalize the Cairn

6. Polar Bear Swim on the Last Day of Classes (LDOC)

7. Gorge on Blue Chip Cookies

8. Have an out-of-body experience at the Nitobe Memorial Garden

9. Go to the Pit and immediately leave

10. Vote in the AMS Elections

11. Discover Santa Ono’s salary

12. Write a paper shit-faced

13. Storm the Wall

14. Fall in love

15. Fall out of love

16. Share custody of your friend group after the breakup

17. Become a Residence Advisor, Orientation Leader and/or Student Ambassador (if you do all three, we will bully you in awe!)

18. Make friends with the portraits in that bougie section of IKB — you know the one

19. Avoid the Halloween Pub Crawl at all costs

20. Buy an overpriced sweater from the bookstore to let everyone know you’re in first year

21. Get your organization a mean nickname from a prof (e.g. “The Vilest Rag West of Blanca”)

22. Stop and smell the roses (in the Rose Garden)

23. Avoid saying the arts cheer during Jump Start/make up a better arts chant

24. Visit X̱wi7x̱wa Library

25. Take a nap in the stained red armchairs in the easternmost part of the Nest

26. Order six hash browns from Tim Hortons to show off to everyone else in line

27. Sneak koi fish into the UBC fountain and run away as fast and far as you can

28. Learn about water chemistry in CHEM 115 and sneak the fish back out of the fountain

29. Stay in the Nest long enough to see a meeting for a club that no one knows exists (like fencing)

30. Acquire Blundstones and a mason jar full of hemp hearts, berries and sawdust to pose as a forestry student so you can sit inside the forestry building

31. Lose your shower sandals (wear socks instead)

32. Rank every single turkey brie sandwich on campus

33. Join a frat just to ask why anyone would join a frat

34. Fall off the climbing wall in The Aviary, never return

35. Linger outside the UBC Skate Park with a tech deck

36. Go to an LFS Wednesday Night Dinner

37. Trip at the Botanical Gardens

38. Adopt a campus squirrel à la Stuart Little

39. Get lost in the Rose Garden Parkade, make peace with your fate

40. Follow a siren song to Wreck Beach

41. Discover the siren is a naked 47-year-old man named Jerry

42. Steal from the dining halls

43. Permanently borrow a JUUL — from your philosophy prof

44. Go to that one cliff (you’ll figure it out)

45. Switch majors

46. Switch majors

47. This one’s alright, I guess

48. Go clubbing and run into your mom’s friends

49. Get kicked out of an on-campus coffee shop for studying too hard

50. Create a new drinking game

51. Watch a sunset from the 18th floor of Orchard Commons

52. Avoid dropping your phone out the window to get a picture

53. Accidentally overshare in an email to a prof about your absence

54. Attend a UBC Improv show

55. Go see some weird German film or David Lynch’s Dune at The Norm

56. Move into MacLeod to complete a gruelling engineering group project

57. Enjoy delicious snacks and juicy gossip on the couches of the Agora Cafe

58. Become ‘ombuddies’ with an ombudsperson

59. Be too nervous to yell things in the echo circle at Wyman Plaza but think about doing it every time you pass by

60. Accidentally spend four hours in the MOA because it’s just that wonderful

61. Slackline in the trees between IKB and the SUB

62. Join a slightly less morally questionable group than the frats, like the AMS

63. Enjoy the delicious scent of cigarette smoke in that one lecture hall in IKB

64. Trash a ‘devil’s advocate’ during the annual UBC snowball fight

65. Attend an AMS club’s ‘exec meeting’ at Koerner’s Pub

66. Submit a UBC crush post about yourself (practice self love!)

67. Go to a Blank Vinyl Project show that is indistinguishable from a dream when you try to remember it

68. Forget to pack a sweater to your class in the Geography Building and curse yourself forever after

69.

70. Attempt to flirt with Jamie, the faculty of forestry’s virtual assistant bot

71. Go through a Commie phase

72. Create a terrible podcast

73. Become a teaching assistant

74. Go to exactly three Koerner’s parties — no more than is necessary

75. Keep at least one plant alive for a year

76. Attend a seminar drunk (bonus points if you’re in a group)

77. See a coyote on campus

78. Enjoy a post-Pit McDonald’s run

79. Unionize something

80. Get free dinner at an AMS Council meeting

81. Protest the Board of Governors

82. Spill tea on UBC Confessions

83. Run up the Wreck Beach stairs

84. Get high in the forest next to Totem

85. Post in the UBC subreddit

86. “Um, ACKSHUALLY…”

87. Stay off the UBC subreddit

88. Get so pissed about the amount of money you give UBC that you almost drop out

89. Obsessively check the SSC when grades are released

90. Watch the SSC crash

91. Spill your Starbucks drink in the Life Building

92. Slip on ice in front of that one cute classmate

93. Go to the Birdcoop (unless you’re claustrophobic)

94. “Forget” to do a class reading

95. Forget to do a class reading

96. Write an essay on the 99 the day it’s due

97. Be awoken by some asshole pulling a fire alarm in the middle of the night

98. Have it happen ten more times throughout the year

99. Get your umbrella broken by the wind in a downpour

100. Eat fresh at the UBC Farm farmer’s market

101. Do a presentation with food in your teeth... it’ll happen, trust me

102. Try out for a club you are massively unqualified to join, just for fun

103. Don’t take all this too seriously

Written collaboratively by Ubyssey Blog contributors.