99 things to do at UBC: Practice self-care by sleeping through your midterm

I got comfortable and decided a power nap was in order. Zubair Hirji

#64: Sleep through a midterm

Let me start off by saying I enjoy writing midterms. The rush when you realize you might be bombing the entire class in one fell swoop is impossible to synthesize elsewhere. Maybe your life will be ruined because you failed statistics? Maybe your life will given meaning by the amazing grade you will receive? It is the game of life simplified. The beautiful feeling of “I should have studied way more” can only be felt in those stagnant lecture theatres on cold spring mornings.

To ensure I get the feeling I crave, I typically spend the week prior only thinking about the fact that I have a midterm. This usually means every once in a while I say to myself “Oh yeah, I have a midterm on Wednesday,” and that’s it.

Once I get closer to the day, I will maybe pick up the textbook, remember my notes, then place the book down. It’s best not to stress out about midterm exams so usually I’ll do a lot of self-care. Self-care for me usually means drinking a lot of tea, eating spaghetti and not studying or preparing for the midterm — remembering there’s a test equals stress! I do everything in my power to forget that an exam is looming, which, when done right, is extremely relaxing. I’m understanding self-care correctly, right?

For my recent exam, the night before was spent sitting around and watching videos of French chefs make omelettes. After hours of watching I went to bed at 2 a.m. after having seen every possible way to combine eggs and heat, none of which I will try.

I woke up at around 8 a.m. with my exam at noon, which gave me plenty of time to read the book a bit beforehand. By 9 a.m. I was in a quiet section of the Nest, slogging through the textbook and wow, was it ever boring. Thank god I didn’t waste all that time reading this shit. After thumbing through the book, I was sure that the one-fifth of the course I understood would take up the entire test. I got comfortable and decided a power nap was in order. I drifted off into a peaceful, stress-free sleep.

I woke up to the sound of the person near me was aggressively blowing their nose. I checked my phone, wondering when I should leave for my midterm. My phone said it was 1:12 p.m. My midterm was over. I grabbed the person beside me and asked them what time to be sure. They stopped sniffling to tell me I was right. I had slept through my midterm. I missed the chance to feel the test rush. My fix had fallen away and my grade had still taken the hit. I shuddered in fear.

But wait! I have a midterm next week.