An open letter to the person in the Canada Goose jacket on campus

I urge you to buy used. Elizabeth Wang

Do you feel good about yourself? Looking down on us peasants with our 'cheap' jackets? How much did your little outfit set you back? $800? $1,000? $1,500? You might say it’s just a jacket and it’s only purpose is to keep you dry and warm. However, we know the truth; you bought that 'suit of money' for the status, the ‘ability’ to show that you have capital and are a high-class student. It’s basically a Sauder student’s pajamas.

From the day that it hit 10 degrees you pulled out your essential expedition parka or took the first SkyTrain heading to Vancouver City Centre to finally pick up your slice of eminence from Nordstroms. We know that you really bought that jacket for the feeling of having that coveted logo on you and the ‘prestige’ that comes with it.

We know that cute coyote fur lining your jacket isn’t synthetic, it’s real — to “cover exposed skin from the elements,” which is about as unneeded as ice cleats on Main Mall. You might be thinking, “Why do you care? It’s my money and my choice; I have a right to be shrouded in a blanket of one month’s rent.” You probably think you earned this jacket, whether it be after submitting your fifth internship application to Goldman Sachs, a resume to Cactus Club or you’re just flat-out not prepared for the frigid weather of Vancouver after spending a summer in Bali or Mykonos.

We probably won't understand how your newfound paleo-vegan diet just makes you cold. You’re absolutely right, we probably won’t understand the stress of not having good heating in our BMW 2 or 3 series, or the fact that you deserve a jacket that’ll keep you warm when at the next Paris fashion show. Unfortunately, we do glean that you feel sad when you’re not complimented on your “super cute winter coat” so we’ll do you this one favour and keep our mouths shut out of consideration for you.

Sincerely,

The Peasants

P.S.

If you don’t have one and you really want a Canada Goose jacket, I urge you to buy used.