Desired dirt paths to take when your time is too precious for sidewalks

Free spirits and eco-anarchists might find pleasure in crossing Main Mall by walking through the grass. File The Ubyssey

Who can be bothered to properly round a sidewalk corner? Not only is it an incredible waste of time but it looks ridiculous too! Is the expectation really that you walk straight for a section, rotate your waist 90 degrees and continue walking? I wouldn’t be caught dead doing something as idiotic as that. Thankfully, the collective subconscious of the student body has trampled numerous dirt paths on campus to avoid these monotonous corners.

At the intersection of University Boulevard and Main Mall there is an incredibly well-worn diagonal. This patch of pressed earth provides a fluid transition from western-bound travel to the south. Not a shred of grass can be seen here, making it a reliable choice for commutes long into the future. This path is so well traveled, in fact, that experts believe it was used as a vital route for early coastal trade.

For a more “choose your own adventure” alternative to pavement, the Oak Bosque in front of IKB is an excellent choice. There are numerous paths in this miniature forest thicket providing a new experience every time you enter. The forest is also home to friendly weed smokers and slack liners that are known to offer travellers potent dope and tightened rope.

Free spirits and eco-anarchists might find pleasure in crossing Main Mall by walking through the grass. While there are sidewalks spaced every 8 metres to conveniently bridge the cement, there is an undeniable rush you get by needlessly avoiding these walkways. Just be mindful of quidditch recruiters using the green space to find potential talent.

Should you utilize these desire paths? Yes. Pythagoras created his theorem for some reason and it sure as hell wasn’t to take the indirect paths that sidewalks enforce.