If you’re one of those people in happy relationships giving us FOMO by holding hands while walking down Main Mall, I’m going to ask you to kindly stop reading right here. You guys were single-handedly responsible for my therapist’s overtime hours on Valentine’s Day.
One of my friends has recently said that since then, “It’s almost like anti-Cupid is in the air,” and I couldn’t agree more. It seemed the sun came out after Valentine’s Day and everybody’s hormones decided to recede instead.
Cue the week when I got a blizzard of calls from my single friends whose sex and love lives just so happened to implode on the same exact day.
That brings us to this article! Why am I writing it? Because I feel like of all the things that students stress out about — readings, midterms, the rising prices of vape juice — finding love and relationships makes up a fair amount. Ask any UBC Sex Store employee and I almost guarantee that they’ve seen the number of vibrators being sold triple. Seriously, people are stressed.
So it makes sense when my friends — and, ultimately, I — suffer from the seasonless disorder called “not knowing what you’re looking for but also looking for something.” The endless hours of swiping mindlessly on Tinder, situationships and failed friends with benefits should tell you that.
The idea came to me through my own experience in the dating pool, evidently. There’s so many things about contemporary dating culture on campus that I’d like to explore. Like, what is it like dating as BIPOC? Are the vibrators at the UBC Wellness Centre actually worth it? How are y’all doing long distance?
Recently, a girlfriend (let’s call her Anita Dick, for anonymity and because it’s funny) called me while I was at work to let me know the guy she was “sort of” seeing (solely for sex okay? We don’t do emotions here. We’re girl bosses.) had ended things with her. For the second time.
I love Anita Dick, but she has one fundamental problem. She is EXACTLY like me. I feel like a lot of singles seeking advice are doing it from other people who are too much like them, and any advice is just wishful thinking. It’s well-intentioned, but it doesn’t get you very far or last very long (like my ex-boyfriend!).
Those in relationships seem to have it too good, so we either resent them or hope that someday this fantasy comes true for us too. But until then, the solitude of being single is alleviated only through single-single solidarity.
So when I found my lonesome self approached by a dude at a philanthropy event, it woke me right up. I mean, somebody mildly attractive headed in our direction on a hopeless afternoon that’s slowly going from bad to worse?
Rest assured, folks, my life is hardly that interesting. Instead, as soon as he mentioned being in Greek life, I immediately zoned out of the conversation — what is a girl to do? Tell him I got canned by one of his kind just the day before?
Situations like these (and recommendations by well-meaning friends to “join Blind Love UBC”) are what make me well-positioned to discuss the Singles Dilemma. If your love life sounds anything like this, perhaps some solicited discussions may be of interest to you.
As I said, this is NOT an advice column. I want to emphasize how unqualified I am in that department (as are most 21 year-olds, hello!). Instead, I want this to be something you look forward to reading once a week not just for the tea, but also because sometimes you just need to feel like you’re in good company — and you will be!