Ways to avoid reading over reading break

I don’t want to read my books! You can’t make me do an assignment over my break! File Joshua Medicoff

Reading break is finally coming up, giving us all a nice break from the constant distress of post-secondary education. But what’s even different about this week? We read every week. All we’re doing is not going to class in between it all. So in honour of the badly named break we desperately need more of, here are some ways to avoid reading at all costs over the reading break.

Wikipedia speed run

A newly popular thing that we nerds have been doing for years is Wikipedia speed runs. Basically, you start at one article and try to get to another specific one as fast as possible, finding links between each article to end up at your destination. It’s incredibly fun and you can waste a lot of time doing it. Just make sure you don’t read too much of the articles, otherwise you’re really dishonouring this whole ‘not reading’ thing.

Do your dishes

I know your dishes have been piling up just like mine have. Now you have an opportunity to spend a whole week doing them. Just remember to moisturize your hands between sessions so you can keep them nice and smooth! If you read a label on something, do your best to forget it.

Get really into lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling

A cleansing activity to do when there’s nothing else happening. Just stare for a while. If you start imagining words from your course texts on the ceiling, stop immediately. This sort of reading isn’t allowed.

Become a morning run person

I’ve personally always been jealous of people who can wake up at 6 a.m. and go for a run. Apparently it’s good for you? Give it a try and see for yourself. No reading required!

Dig a hole outside and bury all your books

I don’t want to read my books! You can’t make me do an assignment over my break! This is a break, for fuck’s sake! I’ll dig them up on February 21.