You know the songs “Rockin' around the Christmas Tree,” “Holly Jolly Christmas,” “Frosty the Snowman” and “The Christmas Song.” But do you recall the most perfect UBC Christmas song of all? Redditor danachos created their own rendition of “Santa Baby” called “Santa Baby–err–Ono,” dedicated to our very own UBC prez — or “Vancouver beefcake,” as danachos refers to him. While the lyrics don't exactly recreate a perfect rhyme scheme, it's still overwhelmingly relatable. Here are the lyrics for you to sing with your fellow students while you all sit around a warm fire burning with last term's notes:
Santa Ono, slip some credits under the tree, for me.
I've been a stellar student,
Santa buddy, and hurry down Main Mall tonight.
Santa buddy, a lambourghini, on the back, an L.
I'll wait up for you dude,
Santa buddy, and hurry down West Mall tonight.
Think of all the fun I've missed,
I think of all the first years that I never kissed,
Next term I could be just as good,
If you'd sign off my grad req's missed,
Santa pally, I wanna shot, fine just a coffee that's hot,
I've been a keener all year,
Santa buddy, so hurry down East Mall tonight.
Santa buddy, one thing that I really do need, a B,
In Gateman's econ,
Santa pally, so hurry down Wesbrook tonight.
Santa buddy, fill my stocking with Canucks tix, for kicks.
Throw me a scholarship,
Santa baby, so hurry down Marine tonight.
Come and sign my Arts degree,
With some post-grad job opportunities.
I really do believe in you,
Now let's see if they'll even hire me.
Santa poppy, forgot to mention one little thing, cha-ching,
I don't mean a student loan.
Santa buddy, so hurry down to I.K. tonight,
Hurry down to Koerner tonight,
Oh, hurry down to the Pit tonight.
UPDATE: It appears as though some marvelous human being has recorded a version of this song on Soundcloud.
No UBC winter exam season is complete without this song on all of your finest Christmas playlists.