I’ve been practicing social distancing since March 14 and washing my hands since I came out of the womb. Social distancing has led many people to learn new things, revive old hobbies and let themselves rest. Unfortunately, I have become involved with something much worse: I’ve become a gamer.
I spent the morning planning out my week and wasn’t late to any online lectures. I took pictures of the slides and laughed when professors kept mentioning how we’re all new to this platform.
I got added to three different Discord servers to stay in touch while social distancing. I’ve had Discord for over two years, but only used it to play Skribbl.io. I turned off notifications since I have an essay due soon. I’m still having trouble navigating the different channels.
I sat outside and read in the sun to take a break from staring at my laptop. I got on my first Zoom call and it was very underwhelming. To make things more exciting, we played a game of Settlers of Catan.
I played Secret Hitler online after Skyping my family. My to-do lists are getting more and more lax, but I shouldn’t feel guilty for allowing myself to rest.
I reminded myself that pain is temporary and GPA is forever, so I put on my favourite lo-fi study playlist and got to work. I probably used three or four different platforms for video chatting today. I thought it would be practical to have two monitors, for both gaming and taking Canvas quizzes.
I played Secret Hitler for a bit to take the edge off before my last midterm. My friends took hours to respond as they were busy catching fish in Animal Crossing: New Horizons. Instead of picking up my textbook, I started watching Twitch streams to fuel my desire for a Switch.
I was late to lecture because I stayed up on Discord with my friends. My class started at noon.
Today I had my last midterm. It was an open-book exam so there were random pieces of paper all over my floor. I always told myself that I wouldn’t become this kind of student. Yet here I am, feeling lightheaded from the amount of flailing my arms were doing.
I took out the trash and being outside felt like an out of body experience.
My sister set up a Google Hangout to keep me accountable in getting work done. It was really helpful to start getting my academics back in check. I was able to cross off more on my to-do list than I thought I would.
I downloaded Minecraft to treat myself. It did quite the opposite. The sound of pouring rain filled my headphones as I re-spawned all alone in the middle of nowhere. I broke down in tears. It had been three hours since I logged onto the server.
I still attended lectures but I wasn’t present. I tried to use video games as a reward for getting schoolwork done, but telling myself “just one game” never worked. I still have a couple of assignments left to do. It all seems pointless.
I accidentally got added to a ‘Boys ONLY’ Discord and ‘no one knows’ who invited me. I’ve been joking with them for years that I was one of the boys and, whether they believe it or not, Discord has spoken.