The scariest things that exist on campus not just on Halloween

If any of you dress up as any of the things on this list I will die from fear and come back to haunt you. File Patrick Gillin

Spooky season is here friends, but there are some things on campus that are spooky all year long. So, in the spirit of Halloween (pun intended), here are some phenomena that occur on campus without an expiration date that I am absolutely terrified of.

People who have arguments without any factual evidence

Yes, your opinion is very important and means a lot to me. Yes, of course you can have an alternate perspective. Yes of course — wait this is based on what? So, you’re saying you can’t actually back up anything you’re saying to me right now? No sir, your opinion is not more credible than a my FACT.

My Blundstones

I don’t know if any of you feel the same way but my pair is definitely cursed and one of these days I’m going to be minding my own business, strolling along Main Mall and humming “I Want It That Way” and I’m going to trip on my Blundstones and fall on my face and die. I can feel it.

People who don’t hold doors open

One of these days one of you busy-bees is going to slam a door right in my face and I’m going to get knocked out. I get, I’m not easy to notice but why the violence, man?

My French class

Je ne parle pas français, je suis très désolée. C’est un grand regret.

The memory of some guy in a Donald Trump mask from last year

Spookiest costume by far — I’m still traumatized.

Disappointing my incredible profs

What if they don’t think I’m intelligent enough and have the potential to change the world? Or worse, what if they think I have potential but I’m wasting it? What if I come off as a teacher’s pet? Or what if they think I don’t care enough about their class? What if I’m not good enough to ask them to supervise my honour’s thesis? These are the thoughts that haunt me in the dead of the night.

If any of you dress up as any of the things on this list I will die from fear and come back to haunt you. Happy Halloween.