The ultimate shoe guide to braving Vancouver weather

Oh and your toes will stay dry and warm. File Elizabeth Wang

There’s a reason we all flock to Vancouver — whether that’s because you got rejected from U of T, you got rejected from McGill or because you didn’t want to pay for American tuition. The scenery is beautiful and Vancouver often makes it on lists titled things like “Best Places to Retire To,” “Most Beautiful Cities In the World” or “Cities That Have A Housing Crisis And No One Can Really Afford the Rent.” But this beautiful #woke city hides something more sinister.

Sure it’s breathtaking when the weather’s nice, but the rainy season also perfectly coincides with the winter term. So 90 per cent of the time, the city is actually a grey blur. If university has done anything for us, it’s breaking our will and need for dignity. After years of research, I present to you: a guide to shoes for Vancouver weather.

Worst

Birkenstocks with socks

Now, I have to admire your commitment to the West coast lifestyle, but there are two universal and indisputable facts that come into play here. Birkenstocks are not waterproof and wet socks are disgusting. So not only will you be ruining your $150 sandals, you will also be the laughing stock of the town. A clown. 0/10. Would not recommend.

Uggs

They are seldom seen in the wild these days, like a rare Pokemon. But now and then I’ll see people walking around in Uggs. They will be destroyed.

Vans

Now, usually Vans are a safe and solid bet. They’re comfortable, kind of ugly but generally acceptable to the masses. They also make you look like you know what you’re doing on your penny board. But if it starts snowing or if you just step into a particularly deep puddle, you’ll have to spend the day with wet socks. Which again, disgusting.

Best

Blundstones/Doc Martens/Timberlands

In a city that champions individuality, you will be sure to fit in by purchasing these boots. Whether it’s in class or at the local breweries, you can spot these paired with some classic light blue denim. Oh and your toes will stay dry and warm. So that’s cool.

Barefoot in Crocs

Sometimes, you just want to feel something. I must say, there is no sensation comparable to stepping into a large puddle in Crocs and becoming one with Mother Nature.