UBC Simulator game teaches us that university is impossible to survive

Slacknotes

Have you been able to beat UBC Simulator? Me neither. Regardless, this might be the most addictive procrastination method to grace UBC in a while.

The UBC Simulator is an old school choose-your-own-adventure game where each choice affects the next. You start out with a 2.5 GPA and 50 friends, and with every decision you make, your GPA and friends will either raise or lower — just like real life, right? The goal of the game is to make it to April without dying from running out of friends or GPA.

I personally can't make it past January because a Sauder kid keeps running a marketing campaign to defame me. Game or no game, I just can't bring myself to join a startup.

Other hilarious scenarios include convincing a guy named Jimothy to take your midterm for you, getting more friends from LAN parties than sorority parties and The Ubyssey running an article branding you a squirrel murderer.

Ultimately, this game is a metaphor for life at university in that you can lose friends for thinking Chris is buff and that Sauder kids will ruin your life.

Slacknotes