What to do with your last eight dollars

Imagine the end of the month. Your nerves are aching for your calendar to hit number one. A fresh start. What do you do? It’s that last day before your next awaited check arrives and you have eight dollars left in your frighteningly empty bank account. What do you do?


Dip your mind into the scent of your favourite cup of coffee notoriously building up your desire to get one more. Activate your cells and begin preparing for where tomorrow will take you. Maybe talk to the cute barista that has led to your increasing caffeine intake.


For the less motivated and more ‘live in the moment’ batch, bite into a slice of Uncle Fatih’s warm cheesy pizza that you’ve been eyeing every time you pass by the store and break that diet that has been burdening you throughout the month. 


This destruction of routine can also take the shape of an ice cream by the beach. Granted, it may melt by the time you find a spot in the midst of multiple flashing cameras clicking the same sunset pictures. You might feel like the trouble of going all the way to the beach only to stare at the crowded ocean might not have been worth it but I believe that feeling is living on campus and wanting to flex Wreck Beach, even in the winter.


There is always the option to escape reality and sink into the daze that one Pedro’s Sweet Sativa can provide you in the exact amount of money you hold. That last light of calmness before the troubles of a new month. Just be sure to pack some munchies before you spend your $8.  


Or you can always purchase another plant and hope it’ll live through your inattentiveness. You’d be lying if you said you’ve never killed a plant, but it will make your apartment look beautiful for the short period of time it lives.


For those who have energy and want to be out living their best life even days before your next paycheck, there’s always the suggestion of paying for coat check and dancing. Or you could go to the club without a coat and warm yourself up with a shot of their cheapest tequila to keep you going. 


If you’re not as happy about running out of money, go running to the mall because shopping will make you feel better even if it takes the one thing you don’t have… money! So go out there and buy the cheapest and ugliest souvenir from a gift shop just to hear the sound of a bill being printed. I’ve run out of space to add any more magnets to my fridge.


And instead of filling up the outside of your fridge, fill up the inside by buying that one useless food item you can never allow yourself to place in your shopping cart. Buy that massive bottle of tabasco even though you don’t like spicy food because someday you might want it in your pasta and would regret not grabbing it when you had the chance.

There you have it, eight options of what you can do to make your last eight dollars stretch. But, if none of these are appealing to you, there is always option number nine of spending your day in bed watching Netflix rather than spending that money. There is always next month.