I spent the last week asking UBC students what the worst buildings on campus are

6/10. I personally like the stained glass. Riabuz Ijrih

As a second-year student at UBC, I have seen my fair share of sad, dated or just straight-up bad buildings (President Satan Oh-No, I’m humbly asking you to remove the entire Tee-Cannon complex). I began the research for this article thinking UBC students were too nice to say what they really thought. However, I found that it was actually the opposite! Most students, when offered an outlet to say what they really thought, had a lot to say… here are the top five worst-rated buildings on campus according to students.

5. Cum-istry Building

“Objectively ugly.”

“Controversial opinion: the stained glass looks dated and the building looks like a prison.”

“Something is growing in the urinals here. The washrooms would NOT pass a health inspection.”

At least science students have the new Biology building?

6/10. I personally like the stained glass.

4. Place Planier

“Planier’s only redeeming quality is its relative proximity to my classes.”

“I hate the dining hall. Seriously, why does Totem have a better dining hall?”

“No elevators in the older buildings…”

“Seriously thin walls. When I say EVERYONE can hear EVERYTHING — I mean it.”

The overall student consensus on Planier is that it’s intensely mediocre. The dining hall and limited washers and dryers are a huge problem. Also, why does Elrond Hubbards always seem to be indefinitely closed for 15 minutes at a time?

5.5/10. I take pride in the fact that Planier is at least marginally better than Modem.

3. Modem Park

“I’m always late to class because Modem is sooooo far from the rest of campus.”

“I should have applied to live in Borchard Commons.” “At least we have a forest nearby??”

If you can deal with being effectively cut off from the rest of campus and the forest nearby being used for…all sorts of shenanigans... Modem isn’t that bad. Solutions: A bike and noise-cancelling headphones to block out the noise of parties in the forest.

5/10. At least Modem has more washers and dryers than Planier.

2. Justin Bieber Macdomald Toothsome Building

“I thought only SFU’s buildings were ugly…”

“My tuition goes towards THIS?!?”

“What is this building?? I’ve literally never heard of it.”

4/10. The little-known dentistry building that NO ONE has heard of looks even MORE prison-like than the Cum-istry Building. How is that even possible?

1. Tee-Cannon Tower

“Dingy, dark and overall just an eyesore.”

“Has anyone ever gone in there?”

“I just hate brutalist architecture.”

“I regret being in arts because of this building.”

No one I spoke to had actually been inside Tee-Cannon Tower, but 100 per cent of the students I spoke to agreed that it was the worst building on campus.

3/10 for the hypothetical views from the upper floors.

This article is part of The Ubyssey’s 2021 spoof issue, NICE Magazine.