Pausing a date to scroll frantically through Spotify in search of an appropriate soundtrack is a universally stressful experience. It can inspire doubts: Will they judge me for this? What are they into? Am I cool enough?
So what are you putting on? In The Ubyssey sex survey, we asked what music you like to get your groove on to and you answered. Here are some of the most common and noteworthy selections.
“SZA’s SOS album"
"Kill bill by SZA”
When SZA said, “Now I’m ovulating and I need rough sex” some of you took that not just as a lyric, but as an instruction manual. While I might judge, I can’t blame. This album absolutely has some orgasmic moments, but I fear it will end in tears. So lean into it! Get sad! Get toxic! Get horny! Get angry! Guys LOVE it when you threaten to kill your ex while on top of them! Unhinged? Obviously. Hot girl behaviour? Unquestionably.
“The Soviet National Anthem”
This is why people say history majors can’t fuck — stop giving all of us a bad name.
“The Weeknd never misses”
“Two Feet’s more popular songs, album ANTI by Rihanna, and the weekend (?)”
“Contemporary R&B generally hits the spot. Think D’Angelo, SZA, Summer Walker, The Weeknd, even Doja Cat”
A staggering number of you are having sex to The Weeknd, or at least claiming to enjoy having sex to The Weeknd. That makes it the de facto basic choice, so make of that what you will. I like where this last response is coming from though — R&B is sometimes the safest bet, and ANTI is a great album in literally any situation.
“WAP”
There’s something unacceptably hilarious about having sex to music that’s explicitly, obviously, on-the-nose about sex. It’s like eating a grilled cheese sandwich while looking at the Google Images results for “grilled cheese sandwich.” I appreciate the commitment to an immersive sandwich experience, but maybe focus on the meal at hand. Yeah, you dealin’ with some wet-ass pussy. Like... yes, you are! Look at you go!
“S&M, by Rihanna lol”
Same as above. I just can’t imagine listening to “S&M” by Rihanna for anything but the most mid vanilla missionary... but maybe you’re built different.
“I don’t like having sex to music but “Candy” by Doja cat goes hard in the bedroom.”
Doja Cat is a popular and solid choice — rhythmic, sweet and sensual enough to set the tone, but not so in-your-face about sex that it supersedes the sex that you’re actually having.
“Little playlist: Breton - The Commission; Bon Iver - Perth; Matt Van - Andromeda; Tom Odell - Another Love; Sigur Rós - Glosoli”
This is an atmospheric set of slow ambient indie that I can imagine is great for exactly 25 minutes of intensely stoned, pensive boning. This is the lo-fi beats to study and relax to of sex playlists, and you know what? There is nothing wrong with maintaining a consistent state of deep focus for studying, relaxing and doing it. Thank you for sharing!
“raw by LOONY, telepatía by Kali Uchis, I Am by Jorja Smith”
Another short selection of curated sex jams, this one with more of a smooth silky R&B vibe for a cool female manipulator. You cannot argue with Kali Uchis.
“frank ocean”
“Anything by frank ocean or Daniel Caesar”
Are you also going to absolutely rock my world and then leave me high and dry for the next seven years?
“Earfquake, Careless Whisper, Wii music”
While this sequence of songs is criminal, I respect a sex playlist that tells a story:
We start off with “EARFQUAKE,” with its rose-coloured lyrics of first love soundtracking the infatuated early stages of the night. Playboi Carti’s incomprehensible baby voice isn’t the first thing I’d want to hear while making sweet sweet love, but to each their own. You’ve made it to the bed, the drinks are flowing and the vibes are right.
Enter a run of luscious sax (not to be confused with sex). What?
While “Careless Whisper” is a classic, George Michael’s song about pain, loss and cheating — not to mention its status as a certified meme — are an odd choice, your partner thinks to themself. The mood has been jeopardized.
“Maybe we should just play Wii Sports instead?”
“i’d rather be able to hear my partner breathing”
I’m sure this is cute in context, but I am scared of you.
This article is from Reclamation, The Ubyssey's 2023 sex and relationships issue. Read more personal essays and student stories from Reclamation here, and sexual health and education articles here.