This poem contains mention of police brutality.
You tell me,
“There’s only one race, the human race.”
And it’s a beautiful sentiment, truly
But it holds no bearing in my life
Maybe yours, but not mine.
This is because in every aspect of my life,
My colour comes before my humanity.
Because in any case, the common blood
That runs through our veins
Did nothing to stop that little Black boy from being lynched
Or that police officer from pulling the trigger.
For you,
It is your passions, character, hobbies, likes and dislikes and friends
All encompassed in the simple fact that you’re human
That others see first.
But for me
My passion, character, hobbies, likes and dislikes and friends
Are not immune to the influence that my colour holds
Over my humanness.
Could I be friends with her?
How does she feel about Black people?
Am I allowed to enjoy doing this or will I be perpetuating a stereotype?
I like him but would he like my skin?
For me
Humanity is only secondary.
Your humanity comes first
You’re the default, the normal.
You don’t stop to wonder if the interviewer was raised in a racist household
If they looked at your name on your resume and braced themselves for an encounter with the ghetto
You don’t Google whether that beautiful country you plan on visiting likes Black people
You simply
Live.
You don’t think about your colour because it never occurred to you to
Not even subconsciously.
But for me
I consciously remember every single day that I am Black, every single day.
What if my name was too long for the judges to bother reading?
Is it safe to visit Switzerland as a Black person?
When I walk into this party
Will I be the only person there that looks like me?
When I walked into this party
you said, in your head,
“Oh, she’s Black”
Though you will soon try to tell me that you noticed no such thing
But I don’t blame you, for when I walked into this party I too said in my head
“Oh,
I’m Black.”
You, you’re just...
Human.
Me, I’m not human.
I’m a Black human.
We’re not humans
We’re African humans
We’re dark humans
Brown humans
We’re not humans
We’re colours
And like any colour, your eyes are drawn to us
As if we’re spectacles that drape the sky for your own entertainment.
But don’t quite interest you enough to learn why.
So when you tell me that we should all get along because we’re all one race
The human race
I know that for you such idealism is possible
But for me
I do not have that luxury.
When my brother and I were young
He and my father had the talk.
Not about the birds and the bees
But about the intricacies
Of living life as a Black man.
“Don’t wear your durag in public it makes you look like a thug
Keep your distance from the white women
And always, always
Always
Make sure your hands are where they can see them
Because you are guilty until proven innocent
And better men are in prison today for lesser crimes because of the way the sun
Reflected off of their melanin.”
My father said to him,
“Follow these rules
And hopefully, you’ll make it out alive.”
You see, for you
You send your brother outside and don’t know to feel relief when he returns home
But for me
I pray that he won’t be in the wrong place at the wrong time in the wrong
Skin colour.
Because for him, his colour comes first
My colour comes first
And we navigate this society as hues
That happen to lie on the darker end of the spectrum
So as I scan the room for another dark or braided head
Just know that I can feel your eyes on my skin.
Maybe you’ll look away soon
So that you can convince yourself that we’re exactly the same
And you will smile to yourself and
Commend yourself for being
Oh
So
Progressive.
You will approach me when my search for familiarity ends.
Fruitless, as it often is
And you will tell me that
We’re all the same race, the human race
And I will know that you are lying because if what you say is true
Then this life I’ve lived has been for nothing.
But I am more than a colour
A blot on the paint pallet
A statistic on the charts
The token Black girl
I am a human, same as you
And like a wise man once said
I will clamber through the clouds and exist
Because I exist
And because I am human
And I want you to see it
And my humanity, first
Not second but first,
Just like yours
I insist upon my existence.
I insist upon my humanity.
Because there is only one race,
The human race.
And I’d hate to think that there’s anything more important
Than that.
This piece is part of The Ubyssey and UBC Black Student Union's 2023 Black History Month supplement, titled B1%CK. Read the full supplement here, or pick up a print paper on UBC's Vancouver campus.