To the boy who fell asleep on me after a drunken night of failing at beer pong: 

You’re heavy. And you have a cute smile.

Aiken Lao is a third-year commerce student and the Design Editor of The Ubyssey. She is powered by dad jokes, donuts and Red Bull and will take bribes. Fun fact: this issue is printed with the blood and tears of Aiken and several other editors.