Love languages. Attachment styles. Kinks. These concepts and so many more have probably come up for you throughout your adult life. Maybe you took some interest, or maybe you scrolled past because they felt like some wacky concept that won’t enrich your life.
But trust me, it will enrich your relationships when you understand yourself better.
Better understanding how you express and experience love, how you bond with others and what exactly gets you off will give you a better idea of your own needs. That understanding can give any partners you may have a better idea of how to best communicate with you and how to make sure you feel good. And better yet, knowing these things about yourself will probably make you feel much more sure about your needs and wants in relationships.
While you’re at it, ask your partners about their own communication and attachment styles, as well as kinks. Do online tests together! Talk about your results! Gaining an understanding of the similarities and differences between you and any partners will ensure you can satisfy each other and communicate better.
This article is part of Autonomy, The Ubyssey’s 2021 sex issue. You can read more here.