Welcome to campus. If you have watched any shitty college movie, you’re sure to know few stereotypes: tons of drinking, frat parties and stressful exams. Am I missing any? Oh yes. All that sex. Don’t worry about it through. Despite what you might think, university isn’t just one giant orgy.
Whether you have had a hundred partners or none at all, whether university is going to be a huge sexual adventure or whether you’re waiting for a special someone, here are a few pointers that everyone should know.
1. Forget what you thought you knew: High school sex-ed is a complete clusterfuck when it comes to preparing you for sex and love. First year of university is the time to unlearn the stupid gender-specific things you’ve been taught and figure out how to have a fun and respectful love life. Which is great, because everyone around you is still exploring, still setting up their definitions of casual hook-ups, meaningful connections and everything in between.
2. Don’t make assumptions: A kiss on the first date doesn’t mean love. Waiting to have sex doesn’t necessarily lead to a long-term commitment. Sex on the first date (or meeting) doesn’t mean anything other than hopefully you’re having a good time. The only person who can tell you what they want in a relationship is the person themself.
3. Consent: This is the big one. An enthusiastic yes is absolutely necessary for consensual sex. No means no, regardless of what tone is used. Consent is impossible to obtain if someone is drunk (duh, have you tried doing anything except falling over when wasted??) — so keep your sex sober.
4. Birth Control: Regardless of your gender, you should be prepared with some form of birth control: condoms, the pill or IUDs are a few options. Remember, while some birth control (like condoms) can also help protect you from STIs, some (like the pill) offer no protection from STIs.
5. STIs: Shit happens. Make sure that you regularly get yourself tested for STIs and STDs. Don’t be afraid to ask the same of your partner(s)!
6. Don’t forget why we’re at UBC: All work and no flirting makes Jack a dull boy, true. Still, don’t let emotional commitments get in the way of academics. Especially because you’ve dropped some serious $$ to be here.
7. Communicate: Shocker: talking to your partner(s) make you a better lover. Talk to your partner and make sure that both your needs and wants are being met. There’s always room for improvement.