Celebrating the institution of (my) marriage in the Nest

My first memory of the Nest is one of comfort. I had just finished my first lecture and knew nothing about campus. As I stepped out of Buchanan Block B, I couldn't even open Google Maps before being swept away by a stream of students headed towards the Nest. After being shoved through the doors, I was in awe.

The screeching of 11-year-olds failing to land kick flips, the smell of burnt coffee from Blue Chip and the gorgeous construction-covering white walls moved something within me, and in that moment, I knew:

This is where I’ll have my wedding.

You might be wondering who the lucky person I’m marrying is — if I’ve already found the location, we must be pretty serious.

There’s no one. I am single. That’s unimportant to the vision, though.


I have every detail planned out. 

Guests will sit on the sides of the staircase steps, and I will make my entrance down the middle. It will be a black tie affair, of course. We’ll blend right in with all the students milling around in their Blundstones and UBC crewnecks.

Who will orchestrate the ceremony? I tried to get Santa, but he’s too Michigan-core for us (me). I haven't reached out to Bacon yet, but he will definitely be officiating.

I would hire the UBC Jazz Club to play some smooth tunes as I descend from the egg, but that's an extra fee for no reason. Instead, I'll just do the wedding on a Thursday, so I can walk down the aisle (steps) accompanied by the sweet sound of a first-year cry-belting  “WE ARE NEVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER” at The Gal's karaoke night. The doors will be open and mic on full blast. 

Afterwards is the food. Lucky for me, the Nest has a plethora of options. I'm thinking tomato soup from Soup Market, followed by spicy chicken on rice (so dry) from the Flavour Lab and Blue Chip Marbelous cookies for dessert.

The reception will be in the Nest too! Where? The Pit, of course. 

No windows, dim lighting and 419 people (gotta invite the cousins!) squished into a room the size of a postage stamp to dance the night away, aided by a student DJ who does not know how to read a room. 

Fucking perfect. 

The theme would obviously be existential dread (what if I have to get divorced and everyone here knows I just spent my life savings on one day, which I now regret because I made the wrong decision choosing the love of my life?!). It’ll be so cute!

The Nest has everything I need and want at my wedding. It makes sense since the AMS is a student-led, student-focused and student-first group that needs my booking fee because they are so very broke.