Staying cool this summer

Ah, summer. It’s the fourth-best season around. Who doesn’t love the sweet aroma of sweat on a crowded bus? Accidentally brushing damp arms with another person is something I look forward to every year and is not at all a sensory nightmare. (Just got chills, my god).

I could give so many reasons why summer sucks — but I won’t. This isn’t about me. This is about making the most out of YOUR summer.

Coming from a tropical country, Canadian summers can be a little disappointing, but fear not! I'm here to sprinkle some tropical sunshine into your Canadian summer, as someone who knows how to milk every drop of fun from those few rain-free months.

Go to the beach

Perhaps the most obvious one, but for a reason. There's nothing like taking a stroll on the beach and drinking an overpriced iced latte.

If you're no fan of the sand, you can sit in the damp grass (why is it damp? You know what — not my problem) and read a book or even people-watch (they’re all couples holding hands, so better not. Tip: wearing sunglasses hides your tears).

If you jump in the water, be sure to complain about how cold it is — otherwise, it’s not worth it. Another little tip: you should scream in agony too, so others know you’re having fun! This method has been rigorously tested and guaranteed to enhance your beach experience by 110 per cent.

Hydrate

Drinking all those iced drinks and whatnot can burn a hole in your wallet, and that’s not cool! So, make sure to drink plenty of water as well. Use a reusable water bottle. Now that’s cool!

However, if you’re one of those people who doesn’t “like” the “taste” of water, fear not. You can also fill it up with apple juice or cold milk. And if either of those sounds appealing, I have a special tip, just for you: grow up, you child. Get a grip. It’s water. That’s like saying you don’t like the taste of air. Seriously, you guys annoy me so much.

Wear appropriate clothing

Time to shove those sweaters, puffer jackets and raincoats to the back of the closet! Finally, you can flaunt your summer wardrobe and let your style shine! That is, as long as your style involves minimal layers and maybe a handheld fan. Overheating is apparently a thing and it’s NOT cool. So, grab that tank top, those baggy shorts and flip-flops. Or don’t! I’m not your mom. Wear whatever makes you happy. I’ll be over here, sweating it out like the rebel I am (I love layering too much and I will die on this hill).

Go out with friends

Hitting the nightclubs has never been MORE fun. You don’t have to pay for a coat check (I never did anyway — I much prefer the thrill of hiding my winter coat in a dark corner, which keeps me on edge and with a healthy dose of anxiety).

Your friends are also so excited to go out! No responsibilities, right? Unless they have a job, are taking summer classes, or are in a stupid relationship and apparently think spending time with their partner is more important than spending 10 dollars on 1 tequila shot!

I mean, I would assume. This is not my experience at all. I am totally okay! (Claire, if you’re reading this, come home. I can treat you better than him and the kids (me) miss you).

Plus, what’s the point of going out if you don’t post about it? Your 400 followers NEED to see that you do, in fact, have a life. They would never know otherwise! Haha, again, this isn’t about me!

If any of these tips helped you, don’t let me know. However, I can formally say you are about to have the coolest summer of your life. Congrats, and you’re welcome.