UBC is a world-class hotbed of innovation, entrepreneurial spirit and, of course, start-ups. If you’re walking down Main Mall and see a student wearing business casual, odds are they have a start-up that they’d love to have you invest in. Around Sauder, they congregate with the tenacity of Jehovah's Witnesses outside of my door on a Saturday morning when I just want to fucking watch wrestling and be alone!
I selected three of my favourites to share with students who should support their local student businesses!
BioVibe
Harvested from UBC’s own farms — organic, natural and phallic-shaped. You'll never have to worry about the murky origins of your dildos, anal beads or cock rings ever again, because it’s the UBC Farm. Get down and dirty with produce that was actually grown down in the dirt, and which will produce the dirtiest orgasms you’ve ever had, hands down. The best part is, when you’re done, everything is compostable! Prices start at $14. Please check the product to make sure you aren’t allergic to it (we’ve had issues in the past).
Calculatzr
This new software start-up promises to disrupt the calculator industry by putting a fully-functional scientific calculator in all your dating apps. Using a simple, elegant design inspired by the old greats, this new app offers a free suite of incredibly reliable functions to help calculate whether or not to send a dick pic without all of the needless hassle of a physical calculator! Keep your eyes out for this one when its beta version launches in a few months. It’s revolutionary. You’ll have so much fun doing tan and sin functions, you’ll forget to show off your hog.
McDonald's
I don’t know if they’re an alumni startup, but they are everywhere! Go out and treat yourself to a burger.