Advice: Ask Natalie ‘is it a date?’ and Greek girlfriends

"Hi Natalie,

I asked out a girl I like, but a few days later she suggested that we study, too, since we're in the same class and have a test coming up. How do I know if she's viewing this as a date or just studying with a classmate?"

There are a few possibilities in this situation.

One: this lady is so focused on school, her life so completely centred around her classes that she honestly thought you asked her out on a study date. But then she talked to her friends and they (rightfully) told her that no, that wasn't a study date but a real romantic date. But, as we're all embarrassed by assuming things, she asked you if you could study to find out what kind of date it was and when you agreed to study she took it as no romantic interest.

My advice: Use this study date as a test run. See what she's like outside of the classroom and if you like her still, ask her out on another date and this time make your intentions clear.

Two: You asked her out. She said yes. She now wants out. Maybe she didn't realize that she was agreeing to a romantic date. Maybe she got back together with her ex. She's using a study date as a way to let you down. It sucks she didn't come out and tell you she's not interested, but that's life.

My advice: Since she's not being clear about what she really wants, go on the study date. You'll soon see through her reactions and words how she sees the date. Then when she leaves early because "her friend just got food poisoning" or "her puppy just threw up" be thankful you didn't have to spend money on a dinner with her.

Three: She actually does want to go out with you. She's been trying to flirt with you all class and she was pumped that you asked her out. But then she tried to finish three essays and study for that test and it didn't work. She still wants to hang out so she suggested a study date so she could do both.

My advice: Again, go on this study date. But flirt. Study and flirt. You must make calculus, Russian history or whatever it is, funny and cute. You can do it. At the end, if she has seemed into you, ask her out and tell her no math can be discussed unless it's you+me=<3.

Take this as a lesson, my friend, and be clear from the beginning about what this date will entail.

"Dear Natalie,

My girlfriend joined a sorority and I know it's not rational but I hate it and she's always out with her "sisters" now and I feel like I'm always second in her life."

I'm not in the Greek system, but I know a lot of people who are are, including one of my best friends. Sure, there's a certain stereotype that is thrown in with the Greek system (you know the one: preppy, high maintenance, heavy drinking) but honestly there's a stereotype for every club (and really that's all sororities are at their core. Really complicated and somewhat secretive, but a club nonetheless). The lacrosse club is full of jocks, the pottery club is full of "sensitive" English majors and the Ubyssey is full of amazingly beautiful and talented people, although that one is true.

Just because something has the stereotype, doesn't make it real. Sororities are for meeting new people, making friends and hanging out with them. One of my friend's sorority events is weekly dodgeball. Does that seem like an activity you want to keep your girlfriend from? No, because dodgeball is amazing.

Get out of your pity party of one, because I'm not joining you. So your girlfriend joined a club and is meeting new people who she seems to like and is doing lots of fun activities. What a shame.

However, you can talk to your girlfriend about feeling left out of her life. Ask for more time where she doesn't talk about her sorority or sisters. Relationships are about communication and being able to use that communication to work through problems.

Don't be an ass and good luck.