“Natalie,
I am already past my mid-20s and still have no idea how to prepare a decent meal. I just naturally don't have the motivation and neither the interest in cooking and food at all. What worries me is that should my mom decide to step back from cooking for the family one day, disaster will strike. Is there any way to really get me learning something that's plain dull and boring?”
You do realize how entitled you sound right now right? You’re worried that your mother will stop cooking and “disaster will strike”? Honey, it already has. You’re a 20-something grown-ass person and it’s about time you started acting like it.
I hope you have a well-paying job because when you move out, you’re probably going to be spending a lot of money on take-out and restaurants. That right there is your reason to learn how to feed yourself. If you want to live at home and never learn any practical skills, go ahead, but don’t ask me to justify it for you.
Cooking isn’t “plain dull and boring,” and as someone who wholly enjoys food, baking and cooking, I don’t get your reasoning for not learning how to cook. Google how to make some pasta and cut your mom some slack.
“Dear Natalie,
I'm currently the most depressed I've ever been since I've come to UBC three years ago. I recently found out that one of my friends from first year, who I've considered a close one as well, slept with my ex-girlfriend not even a week after we broke up.
Said ex is dead to me, but I cannot believe that my friend would do such a thing. Moreover, I'm disgusted at how our friend group has not defended my rights in any way. It feels like they've all taken his side. I feel like I have no options left but to leave this friend group — and the worst part is that I absolutely did nothing to deserve any of this.”
Before I say absolutely anything else, I want you to know that what your friend did was shitty. You have the right to feel shitty about the situation. You can even be angry.
That said, exactly what “rights” were your friends supposed to defend? You obviously are upset, but what else are your friends supposed to do other than comfort you? Defend your honour? I mean, you were broken up and what your friend did was a douche move, but what do you want them to do about it? Cut off one of their friends because they slept with one of your exes? That’s something they may do if they decide to, but that’s not your “right” by any stretch of the word.
Maybe this isn’t what happened, but it seems to me that maybe the incident you’re upset about happened a while ago and you just found out? Maybe your friend group already knew about it and already hashed that out with this friend. You can’t force anyone to feel something, including more indignant just to make you feel better about this situation. They may not be reacting in the way you think they should because they already did and worked through it.
What I’m saying is that just because your friends don’t seem like they are “defending your rights,” doesn’t mean they don’t have your back. If you need a break from your group, that’s valid. If you want to break it off with them forever, that’s your choice, but don’t blame them for something your friend did. You have options. One of them is to cool down for a bit.
“Dear Natalie,
I’m worried that one of my roommates is becoming too attached to my cat. I’m moving out at the end of the term and I’m (obviously) taking my cat with me. I’m worried it’s going to upset her.”
This is one of those times you should have a conversation with your roommate no matter how awkward it may seem. Just bring up that you’ve noticed how close she and your cat were getting and remind her gently that the cat is coming with you. Chances are she just loves cats (who can blame her) and she’s getting her time in with it before you leave.
Just in case though, make sure you have all your paper records showing that the cat belongs to you. Look into getting your cat microchipped if you haven’t already. It’s better to be way over-prepared than to have to scramble in the middle of a move to prove you own your own cat.
Need advice? Contact Natalie anonymously at asknatalie@ubyssey.ca and have your questions answered in an upcoming issue.