“Where do I meet nice wholesome boys? I see such good looking guys all around campus but honestly have no idea what classes or clubs they're in! I don't like going out to bars and meeting guys because they're all into one night stands, and Tinder sucks at UBC. So where can I find these elusive attractive nice boys?”
The “elusive attractive nice boy.” I love it. It's like there's one guy out there that knows he's a catch and is just hiding for the sake of staying single.
I can assure you this is not the case.
Nice guys are everywhere — and I want to be clear here. I'm talking about actual guys who are nice and are different than Nice Guys (TM), but I think at this point many of us know when a guy (or lady) is just pretending to give a shit about us in hopes we suddenly throw off our clothes and declare our love for them. You're not fooling anyone, guys. Please stop.
Anyway, nice guys and girls are actually everywhere. I would say that most people are indeed nice, but either they're already in relationships or don't seem like they are actively looking for a partner. The people at clubs and bars who pick up one night stands and the disaster of an app that is Tinder stand out in our heads as the main group of single people, but it's not true. A lot of people are there in bars and clubs who just like to dance, drink or hang out with their friends. You're not going to pay particular attention to them because they're not screaming in your ear, but they are there. Or if going out isn't their scene, they're chilling somewhere else, but they are out there.
The best way to attract a partner is to not seem like you're looking for a partner. I know it sounds like the opposite of what you should do, but the nice, “wholesome” people you're looking for want to get to know you and you have so much more to yourself than being single.
A lot of relationships start from friendships. Not to say that you can't have an amazing relationship that started purely physical, but many relationships do start from friendships and I promise you that you're not destined to be alone forever if you don't like casual or purely physical relationships.
If you aren't into those relationships though, I would stay away from Tinder. It may have become a mainstream dating app, but there's still a lot of luck involved on how your experience turns out. If you're interested in online dating, I've had friends find long-term relationships through more relationship-based sites like OKCupid or Bumble.
But in the meantime, just put yourself out there! There are attractive people on campus and as long as you don't do it in a creepy way, I highly recommend you go up and talk to them. Get your flirt on. Confidence and going out on a limb and talking to people isn't going to work against you when it comes to finding a relationship partner.
“I'm honestly sad that the semester is ending — I love being on campus and in classes, surrounded by my peers and around people my age. What are some things I could do here in the summer so I keep that feeling up? I've heard that UBC is dead after winter term.”
They say UBC is dead once the winter term ends, but I haven't found that to be true. If you're taking summer classes, you'll still get that student-run campus fee, just with less students getting in your way on Main Mall and decreased hours at all your favourite on-campus food hubs.
If you're not taking summer classes — I understand, some of us have to work those summer hours — but you'll be working on campus over the summer or maybe will live there, you'll notice just how many students have stayed to work or study too.
I honestly think how your summer at UBC plays out is dependent on your friends. One summer here, most of my friends went home and I did not have the best summer. Granted, looking back, I was also working 60+ hours a week, so that might have had something to do with it, but my point remains. If you have a social life in Vancouver and it's staying in Vancouver, that won't change because of what term it is.
If you're worried that you don't have a strong social network for the summer, that's okay. Many clubs are still active during the summer and would love to have new members.
If May and June roll around and you're still not catching that exciting summer feeling, explore Vancouver and beyond. It's an incredible city and that bus pass is worth it if you have somewhere to go. Look on Facebook or websites that are designed for meet-ups. Find something you're interested in and the friends will find you!
Have a good summer and see you around campus!
Need advice? Contact Natalie anonymously at asknatalie@ubyssey.ca or at ubyssey.ca/advice and have your questions answered!