This column deals in satirical libel, backstabbery, metastatic inconsideration, bullying the powerful and chump-dunking, all while following our Respectful Environment Policy.
The Dingbat
The Dingbat is The Ubyssey’s humour column. We focus on publishing satirical articles relevant to the UBC student’s academic and social experience. If you would like to prove that you're as funny as your friends say you are, put your money where your typing fingers are and submit completed pieces or pitches to blog@ubyssey.ca
It was your classic rom-com meet-cute between a human university student and a literal squirrel.
To be quite frank, I couldn’t care less about what you want. What about what I want? Should campus reopen to aimless undergraduates who simply want to ‘vibe’?
We have been required by FIPPA to disclose this classified list of past recipients of honorary degrees from the University of Bad Choices.
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This column deals in satirical libel, backstabbery, metastatic inconsideration, bullying the powerful and chump-dunking, all while following our Respectful Environment Policy.
It was your classic rom-com meet-cute between a human university student and a literal squirrel.
To be quite frank, I couldn’t care less about what you want. What about what I want? Should campus reopen to aimless undergraduates who simply want to ‘vibe’?
We have been required by FIPPA to disclose this classified list of past recipients of honorary degrees from the University of Bad Choices.
When you’re tumbling ass-over-ankles down the Grouse Grind, asking yourself, “My god! What have I done?” I’ll tell ya, we all saw it coming.
Will my life ever feel like it’s moving again? Will we ever find out what on Earth they are constructing around Martha Piper? Will they ever finish? Who even is ‘they?’ Is Tim’s open? My god, I am freezing.
The year is 2025.
“Of course, assigning the students less work is simply out of the question,” the group continued, “which means our only recourse is to extend the solar day by one hour.”
At the Ares Project, we use state-of-the-art computer algorithms and the most up-to-date psychology research to match you with your nemesis.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned throughout all of this, it’s how great capitalism and the free market are. No questions here!
Does anybody truly believe that we’re accelerating the most particles as fast as we possibly can?
Not many students can say that they’re best friends with the president and vice-chancellor (only his best friend would know that he’s the vice-chancellor) of their university.
She has stayed inside with her windows shut and 25 air purifiers “absolutely blasting” for 38 days straight.
I had to learn how to make coffee (extremely difficult) and learn how to make my own breakfast sandwiches (I almost burned down my dorm).
I can’t say it’s been all ‘early admission’ and ‘Dean’s List’ for us, but it’s certainly been good for my career prospects.
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