Some students come to UBC comfortable discussing everything from consent to contraception. However, abstinence education and misrepresentations of sexuality in media leave others uncertain or misinformed when they begin university.
For Janice Suhardja, a second-year sociology student from Indonesia, conversations around sex in school and at home were “very conservative.”
“It was definitely things like, ‘Sex is a gift from God, only to be done in the context of a marriage between a man and a woman’ and all that,” Suhardja said. “We weren't even talking about birth control.”
The internet can connect people to resources about sexuality, especially for those who are Queer, trans and disabled, but reputable information can be hard to find.
“I started teaching myself online about Queer sex education,” said second-year arts student Ash Muller. He cited the webcomic Oh Joy, Sex Toy by sex educator and artist Erika Moen as a valuable resource to learn more about topics such as kinks, healthy communication and gender-affirming sexual experiences.
“It's frustrating — like where was all this stuff when I was first learning about sex?” said Muller.
Although expansive, the internet can also be a deceptive resource. When it comes to the more complicated aspects of sex — such as mature communication, kinks or healing from trauma — it can be helpful to interact with trusted experts and community members.
Learning about sexual wellness, health and pleasure is a continual process that looks different for everyone. Luckily, there are a variety of resources that are easily accessible to people of all experience levels.
Resources in Vancouver
COVID-19 has put many in-person spaces for community learning and support on hold. Still, bookstores, sex toy stores and virtual support groups are great places to explore what you like.
Little Sister’s and The Art of Loving are small businesses which focus on diverse sex positivity education. Little Sister’s is a “bookstore and art emporium” with a broad selection of Queer-friendly books, as well as a large selection of sex toys for all gender identities and orientations.
The Art of Loving sells a variety of toys and erotica. Its staff are trained on sex-positivity, and can offer informed recommendations for newbies. Pre-COVID-19, the store hosted educational seminars on topics from kissing to anal. Although workshops are on hold, the website includes product reviews and expert tips.
Nonprofit Qmunity hosts a variety of support groups, including spaces for Queer, trans, autistic, asexual and nonmonogamous people to discuss their experiences, as well as a group reserved for IBPOC.
BC residents can also anonymously ask sexual health and wellness questions through the Sex Sense line: a “free, pro-choice, sex-positive, and confidential” service staffed by experts.
Vancouver also has an active kink community for those interested in educating themselves on safely exploring non-normative sexual interests and lifestyles.
TheSpace2 is a teaching studio and community hub for shibari or kinkabu, also known as the art of rope bondage. It’s run by co-instructors Georg Barkas and Addie. Although TheSpace2’s physical location has been closed since March 2020, they continue to hold tutorials and demonstrations on their website and organise a monthly Queer book club.
“We teach how to apply the ropes, but also how to interact with each other before, during [and] after a rope scene,” said Barkas. “Rope bondage in a much broader context than just what some folks might expect. We practice rope bondage from ... a meditative perspective, also of course from a sexual perspective, and very much from a gender [empowerment] perspective.”
To combat exploitative dynamics that can emerge in BDSM communities, Barkas and Addie said that they make an effort to center anti-racist, feminist and anti-oppression values in their classes, and in the culture they create. This includes asking for pronouns, creating a culture of consent and not making assumptions about people’s backgrounds or preferred roles within rope bondage.
Resources at UBC
The AMS Sexual Assault Support Centre (SASC) is a hub for resources, education, counseling and support for UBC students who have experienced (or are invested in learning about) gender-based and sexualized violence. UBC’s Sexual Violence Prevention and Response Office (SVPRO) also holds trainings on media literacy, consent culture, supporting survivors and more.
Students can also find contraceptives and safer sex supplies outside the Wellness Centre in the Life Building. There’s also a store that sells lubricants, condoms, pregnancy tests and more at cost.
It’s also vital to remove stigma around STI’s, and to get tested regularly. UBC’s Student Health Service offers free and confidential testing, and there are other testing sites throughout the Vancouver area.
For those who have room in their schedule, courses that feature sexuality can prompt UBC students to challenge their assumptions about society and about themselves.
“When I took sociology of family last year, there were conversations around sexual orientation, same sex families and same-sex couples” said Suhardja. “It felt very open and supportive.” ❦
This article is part of Intimacy, The Ubyssey’s 2022 sex issue. You can read more here.