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Newly single? Long-term single? Not sure how to adapt to the fast-paced world of internet speed dating? Afraid of failure? Afraid of success? Well here are The Dingbat Dirtbag’s surefire tips to change things — even if it’s not for the better.

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You tell me, “There’s only one race, the human race.” And it’s a beautiful sentiment, truly But it holds no bearing in my life Maybe yours, but not mine.

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Last Tuesday, reports obtained by The Ubyssey showed that you’ve been totally weird recently, man. Eyewitness accounts state that your vibe has totally shifted the last couple weeks and that you’re kind of freaking everybody out.

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