An awkward person's guide to social interaction

When you're stomach growls, you have to crinkle that paper bag with authority. File The Ubyssey

The amount of times my friends have threatened to ditch me because of my obsessive need to finger-gun at everything is unexpectedly high. So, come forth my awkward friends, let us together try to be more socially acceptable and weave our way through this intricate mess that is the society we unfortunately have to exist in.

Studying in quiet spaces

When all you have with you is a bag of chips and you’re trying to integrate into quiet grad school study spaces, the packaging can be extremely loud. When you're stomach growls, you have to crinkle that paper bag with authority. Confidence will get you places. Dazzle those grad students.

Talking to that cute classmate

Crack some good quality jokes minus the finger guns and maybe they’ll like you? Really, how else do you expect me to help you with this? I’m not cool, I write for the Ubyssey.

Making dumb jokes while everyone else stares at you in silence

The amount of times my friends have shown concern for my well-being after I’ve told grade-A self-deprecatory jokes is saddening. Apparently, I need a hug. They just don’t get good quality humour. No one understands my genius!

Saying hi to people you met and had a conversation with once

Very awkward. I’ve had proper meals and full-on conversations with people who had forgotten my face and obviously my name the next time I said 'hi' to them. But as a wise man once said, “Smile and wave.”

Trying to ask a question in class

“Erm erm ex- uh- excuse… me…?” And then your heart starts pounding and your ears turn red and you wonder if this is normal. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. But just try it a few times. Trust me, it starts getting easier.

Going to office hours

Okay, so admittedly I’ve only gone to one, but it’s a scary and tongue-knotting experience. The concern of 'what if my ideas and questions aren’t interesting enough?' (I'm not sure this make sense?) If you’re lucky, your professor will get excited that someone actually showed up to see them and you won’t have to do much to bond with them. You’ll mumble a thank you and manage a small smile and walk out with your head hung low, drowning in shame and regret.

The way I see it, being awkward can be part of your charm, so wield it like that and your inherent awkwardness might turn into dorky confidence that’ll draw everyone to you. *finger guns*