Because it is 2018 and nothing matters, the AMS has decided that it would help us all to forget that we’re miserable and stressed out of our minds by having a get-together where it spends $15,000 so that students can try to break a Guinness World Record.
In a council meeting last Wednesday, it was brought up that it would cost around $15,000 just to have someone from the Guinness World Record organization come and watch everyone attempt to break this record, though exact numbers haven't been confirmed by the AMS.
AMS President Alan Ehrenholz noted in an emailed statement to The Ubyssey that “the AMS feels that funding for this type of initiative should not be coming from student tuition. If this condition is met, this type of activity, that enhances student experience and offers a recreational opportunity for students, is something the AMS can support.”
If the idea does move forward it would be for what, you ask? No, it isn't being a competent student government that makes good decisions. It’s to get the most people walking backwards at once... ever!
The current institution with the prestige of having the most backwards walkers is the Prestige Institute of Management and Research in India, who, in 2014, managed to convince 1,107 people that this was a good idea — likely also competing to break the Guinness World Record for bullshitting the most people.
The attempt at breaking the world record — which is still only in the idea phase — would take place on February 28, as part of the MoveUBC initiative to increase physical activity. If you’ve ever wanted to sip coffee and watch the mass migration of a herd of sheeple, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Though the sight of over 1,000 people collectively tripping backwards over each other might bring some small amount of joy, most of us would probably much rather watch the AMS break the world record for backpedaling on what can only be described as the bottom of the barrel for dumbass ideas.
Truly, nothing could more accurately represent our student government’s priorities than the act of walking backwards en mass like a bunch of idiots. Getting us a fall reading week? Nah. Advocating for lower tuition? Nope. Blowing lots of money on a metaphorical reminder of the futility and absurdity of the university experience? Hell yeah!
To spend $15,000 shows alarming echoes of lessons not learned by student politicians who seem to have forgotten what it’s like to have the type of fun that you don’t post about on LinkedIn afterwards.