Oh-No’s favourite things 2018

Here’s our annual list of gifts that have been tested and approved by Oh-No.

A UBC rocking chair

“This is the perfect gift for any alumni or distinguished faculty members who are eager to throw away even more money at this institution. At a cool $1075.95, this chair will let everyone know you’ve got tenure.”

A shadow tree

“This holiday season, spoil the people you love by throwing excessive amounts of money at something literally no one asked for. They’ll be so touched by your generosity!”

A birthday cake in the shape of a moon

“When I was 11 years old, I said I wanted to have a birthday cake in the shape of the moon and my mother made me a birthday cake in the shape of the moon.”

A house that was given to me by a university

“I like this house. I get to live in this house with my dog Fido. Sometimes, I let students come to my house for breakfast and take selfies with me. It’s a great house. You should get a house like this too.”

A car that was given to me by a university

“I like this car. I get to drive this car around the university. Sometimes, I drive it along Main Mall when I feel sad. It’s a great car. You should get a car like this too.”

A university that was given to me by a university

“I like this university. I get to lead this university with the assistance of stressed out Public Affairs personnel who monitor my tweets. Sometimes, I even ignore student pleas for increased mental health services by posting photos of them on my Instagram. It’s a great university. You should get a university like this too.”