A newspaper consisting of only poli sci students writes about cells

Uh, recent UBC research suggests that cells are... good? We all know that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. But what does the nucleus do? What on Earth is a chloroplast?

According to a biology professor we begged to talk to us, the nucleus is the centre of information in a cell, where DNA replication happens, and some other stuff. The nucleolus is a fun word to say and also the part of the nucleus where ribozones do their thing. Think about it like a government. Some big things happen here and it’s the centre of the universe.

Remember the word endoplasmic reticulum from high school? It turns out nerds still care about that! Endoplasmic reticulum transports things to places. It’s kind of like public transportation but instead of people its molecules and instead of buses and trains its endoplasmic reticulum. Do taxes pay for endoplasmic reticulum like they pay for busses? Are the molecules unionized? Current studies suggest no, but it might be an interesting honours paper if you explored it through a Marxist lens.

Chloroplasts are found in plants, and they make food using energy from the sun through a process called photosynthetics. Think of it like how vitamin D gives people energy and we often get it from the sun. Then we can go and engage in societal happenings and gain what Robert Putnam calls “social capital.”

Also, it’s worth mentioning that the professor said there are two types of cells: eukarykas and prokarykas. Prokaryka cells are unicellular organisms such as germs and dust, while eukarykas cells can be multicellular organisms such as plants and animals or unicellular such as protozoas. I don’t have a way to relate these to political science so think of them like cells.

Lastly, some cells have cell walls. They’re porous but not everything can get through, so think about it like the concept of borders. Certain things can get through the walls, but it’s up to the structure of the cell to decide what gets in and what doesn’t. Cells do not have foreign policy and border security however, which is the only way they differ from states.